Tag: underpants

we rebuilt him, we made him better, faster, stronger

I’m gonna hit you with something.  Something so unbelievably fucking awesome, you may shit yourself.  I don’t want you to actually poo your underoos so I’m going to take a few seconds here and let you get yourself all squared away.  You ready?




Got some toilet paper and a bowl by your side?



I’m serious here, don’t be sending me your dry cleaning bills.



Ready now?




Okay, here goes nothing!


The OFFICIAL Rhetorical Platypus!



Yay!  You may send your congratulatory comments and emails forthwith!



And I ask you kindly not to steal anything…if you do?  I will hunt you down and be that mouthbreather who always stands uncomfortably close, for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.  And I will eat garlic, onions and anchovies everyday. EVERY. DAY.


Thank you to Mister SD for Mister RP.  Copyright and whatnot.  2011.  Funky.  Yeah.

oh balls…

When you are the empathetic type, be sure the person who is sobbing- that you are offering a tissue to- isn’t a completely batshit-crazy tiny racist Thai woman who continually asserts that SHE’S NOT CHINESE!

Otherwise, you will have to sit through her tirade about how her boss is an (adjective) cunt.  The epithets and racism will continue to come, no matter how uncomfortable you try to make yourself look.  Apparently, being a young, friendly, white woman is a license for someone to go crazy with the bigotry. Awesome.

This isn’t the first time this has happened to you…


Learn from your mistakes.  Sheezus.


This is what Google spat out when I searched ‘tiny racist’…seriously.




Cemetery Cat



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