Tag: platypus

you’d think.

Shouldn’t artificial intelligence get smarter? Or at least the people who program such ‘intelligence’ be a bit smarter themselves?

What do I speak of at this precipice of understanding? Well, these sort of spammy ‘comments’.

From: bludeeebluvblu@lalalalalalaicanthearyoudotcom

‘I like your roughly motivational place of duty you give rise to at this juncture.’

Really, I roughly motivate your place of duty? And you like it? What the stinking fuck does that even mean? Let’s consult Mr. Thesaurus and see if we can’t spice up this lovely string of nonsense with a bit of humour…how about next time you try this Mister Spam Robot Man?

‘I desire your scratchy inspiration house of business you give me an erection to at this moment.’

See what I did there? It’s all about the genitals, my friend. Get straight to the point. You want my scratchy house of business with your erection RIGHT NOW, there’s no sense in beating ‘round the bush, really.


From: iwanttoeatyourjamdonutinthesunshine@dolphinpoodotcom

‘Seems to facilitate lots of relations benefited from it. Cheers and credit.enjoyed.’

Oh, no dear. No need to play coy now that we’re friends! Just say what you mean, you juicy tart. Try this…

‘It seriously got me loads of ass, your blog about food that looks like shit! I can’t thank you enough! You are the reason I got laid. WHEEEEEEEEEEE! PENISBUMVAGINA!’


I believe with these two short sentences have created not only a more exciting spambot but a new vernacular for those that wish to Pub ‘n Hump©. Cos everyone wants to sound Victorian, it’s just wicked proper and shit. Woo, Victorian!

Picture 3[1]


 Cloris was all about the Cleveland Steamer. Toot toot!




we rebuilt him, we made him better, faster, stronger

I’m gonna hit you with something.  Something so unbelievably fucking awesome, you may shit yourself.  I don’t want you to actually poo your underoos so I’m going to take a few seconds here and let you get yourself all squared away.  You ready?




Got some toilet paper and a bowl by your side?



I’m serious here, don’t be sending me your dry cleaning bills.



Ready now?




Okay, here goes nothing!


The OFFICIAL Rhetorical Platypus!



Yay!  You may send your congratulatory comments and emails forthwith!



And I ask you kindly not to steal anything…if you do?  I will hunt you down and be that mouthbreather who always stands uncomfortably close, for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.  And I will eat garlic, onions and anchovies everyday. EVERY. DAY.


Thank you to Mister SD for Mister RP.  Copyright and whatnot.  2011.  Funky.  Yeah.

They have a lot to answer for!

What are they launching? WHY ARE THEY APOLOGIES?  What are they available for?



I was at the launch.  Jealous?

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