Category: stupid

One time…

I punched a shark, right in his stupid stinky shark face.

We’re still bros. He knew he was being a dick.


Chirpy Little Birdy (they’re buttholes & they hate you)

I heart you 98.2% of the time. Just not when you start peeping at two in the morning. Look, I know it’s raining, hard, and that makes it difficult to bed down. I know we just got those nifty LED lights down our road that makes it seem like daylight all the time. But for F*CKS SAKE!  Shut the hells up. For reals.

Birdies, I really like you, but I may not slam on my breaks the next time one of your brethren are in the road I’m driving down. Am I kidding?  Try me.

Just sayin’.

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