I’m gonna hit you with something.  Something so unbelievably fucking awesome, you may shit yourself.  I don’t want you to actually poo your underoos so I’m going to take a few seconds here and let you get yourself all squared away.  You ready?

…

Got some toilet paper and a bowl by your side?

…

I’m serious here, don’t be sending me your dry cleaning bills.

…

Ready now?

…

Okay, here goes nothing!

The OFFICIAL Rhetorical Platypus!

Yay!  You may send your congratulatory comments and emails forthwith!

FORTHWITH!

And I ask you kindly not to steal anything…if you do?  I will hunt you down and be that mouthbreather who always stands uncomfortably close, for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.  And I will eat garlic, onions and anchovies everyday. EVERY. DAY.

Thank you to Mister SD for Mister RP.  Copyright and whatnot.  2011.  Funky.  Yeah.